My boyfriend and I were in Michigan to see my family this past weekend. My boyfriend and I are atheists through and through. My family is Christian. They aren't strict scriptural Christians, but they still believe in praying for non-believers. So, I wasn't surprised when my aunt told us we were on her prayer list. She said she puts her nonbeliever friends on her prayer list because she knows that we nonbelievers are afraid of dying.
Here's how I dealt with this situation. I let it let it slide. Obviously my boyfriend didn't say anything because it was his first time meeting them, and he didn't want to get on anyone's bad side. I didn't say anything for a number of reasons. My first reason is that I know followers of Christ express their care and love for you by praying. Also, I was in her house, and she is my family. I didn't want to upset her in her own home.
What left me feeling uneasy was her whole, "nonbelievers are afraid of death" statement. Many people are afraid of dying. My fear of death has nothing to do with my lack of belief in an afterlife. I feared death even when I did believe in Christ and the afterlife. You know what else I feared? Being possessed, followed and dragged out of bed by demons in the middle of the night. After I became and atheist, I no longer feared demons and spirits because I stopped believing in them. There is no proof they exist. Why should I fear something that may or may not exist? On the other hand, death is very real. I don't know about you, but I am young and enjoy living. Of course I fear death.
Christians fear death, too. They just say they don't because they all believe they are going to "Heaven" when they die. They strongly believe that there is a place to go when they die. There is no solid evidence that there is a Heaven or Hell. Yet, their faith in Biblical myths is so strong that they are comforted by the idea that there is a warm fuzzy place for good people to go when they die. It's OK with me if you find comfort in that idea. I don't think anything could give me comfort. Even when I was a staunch believer, nothing could make me not fear death. Don't force your beliefs down my throat by telling me that I should be afraid of going to Hell because I don't believe in anything after death. That's what my aunt was telling us in so many words.
How you deal with family, friends or strangers praying for you is up to you. I do what works for me depending on who I am with. I try to be more polite and tactful with my family because they are nice people and have done a lot for me. However, if a friend or stranger gave me the "I'll pray for you" speech, I would have told them how condescending it is even if they do mean well. I don't give them a whole spiel about how they should become atheists. I try to be as tolerant and patient as possible with people, but it is condescending to tell someone that they live their lives wrong for not believing in your god.
My aunt didn't sit there and tell us we were living our lives wrong, but that was her hidden meaning. Anyone who can read between the lines of Christianspeak knows that "I'll pray for you" really means "You are going to Hell when you die if you do not change your way of thinking before then." Why is your god so sensitive that he must punish those for not acknowledging him? Why worship such a vain and cruel being? I would rather be free of the crippling anxiety about whether or not I will make it into Heaven or if I will burn an eternity in Hell. I am free of that worry. I'm the kind of person who is prone to obsessive worrying. My thoughts will spiral out of control and give me panic attacks. When I was a child, I constantly feared that I was going to go to Hell when I died because I "used the Lord's name in vain" and masturbated. I'm free of that fear and happier for it.
